leth·ar·gy
[leth-er-jee]
–noun,plural-gies.
the quality or state of being drowsy and dull, listless and unenergetic, or indifferent and lazy; apathetic or sluggish inactivity.
This is how I've been feeling lately. Lethargic. It's most evident in my work. I'm struggling to simply work. I'm busy. I've got tons of stuff to do which usually inspires me, but for the last week, I sit at the computer and struggle to type. I want to spend my day on Facebook, even though I don't really like Facebook. I read the same articles over and over again in the paper and my obsession with gossip blogs is through the roof. It's like I'm finding any excuse in the world not to work. And it bugs me.
Although it's very evident in my work, this lethargy is taking hold of other aspects of my life. I haven't opened a book in about two weeks which is so unlike me as I've usually got a few on the go at a time. I hadn't blogged in almsot a month until I forced myself to do so yesterday. I wrote my piece for a newspaper freelance gig I have back home at the last minute because I just couldn't be bothered to write. I'd rather lay in my room watching movies 24/7. It's a depressing lifestyle. Not one that I am accustomed to.
This has happened to me before for brief periods of time, mostly when I was working for the govermenment and well, let's face it, that's an excuse enough in itself! But what's bothering me the most is this dread I have that I don't really like what I'm doing. I used to think I didn't like working for the government, but I'm starting to believe that it is the subjet matter and not the office that made me so miserable.
I don't think I like communications anymore. I was trained as a journalist but never really sought out that career as I was sucked in by the money and security of the government. I thought to myself, "communications is sort of like journalism." Well, it's not, and in the end, it's quite boring.
I know a lot of people work jobs they don't really enjoy. It's a part of life. And with my jobs right now, it's not all about communications. It's about communities and local organizations and building up their capacities so they can better serve their communities. So many of the organizations I work for are dedicated to child welfare and empowering children and teens. I respect and admire them and truly want to do my part in helping the organizations thrive.
So, I need to get my head out of my ass. Seriously. Who cares if communications isn't my passion? I have passions and while they might not be part of my employment today, eventually they will be if I so desire. This is an opportunity for me to learn more about myself - my likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.
During my time in Botswana, I've learned that I enjoy working with children. Back home, I loath them. No joke. But here, it's different. Children suffer through unimaginable hardship and yet do so with a smile on their face. I'm not implying that all kids are happy smilly children. They aren't. But there is something special about working with kids in need. I learn so much more from them than I could ever teach them.
Therefore, my homework for the rest of the week is: Attitude of Gratitude. I need to be grateful to be here, to be healthy and relatively happy and simply accept that I am not 100 % happy with my choice of career so far. I'm on my third one anyways, so I know that I can change and move on as I please.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Diamonds in the Rough
I've complained a few times on this blog about the lack of anything remotely cosmopolitan in Maun. This wouldn't be so terrible if there was some sort of distinct culture, arts scene, theater, fashion... ANYTHING to balance the bush and safari culture that eats up this village.
I've been trying to alter my perspective, look at things in a gentler, softer way instead of through my pessimistic view. And you know what? I've found a few gems. The first being shopping. I know this is going to sound shallow to many but when you are surrounded by khakis and hiking boots 24-7, it's a delight to remember that Maun has some alternative options for those of us who don't spend most of our days in the bush and work in offices.
When I moved from Canada, I brought five suitcases. I packed most of my summer wardrobe and reasoned that I wouldn't spend any money on clothes in Botswana. In seven months, some of my clothes has been ruined by dirty water, some has disappeared and a lot of it has become boring.
So it's not like I had to shop but it was worth looking around.
Surprise, surprise. Maun's got a few gems. And I've got the photos to prove it.
My new favourite place to buy shoes is Pep. A mix of dollar store meets department store, Pep has by far the best shoes and the best prices in town.
Case study one: My studded flats.
I first came across these beauties when I saw my neighbour Sarah walking through our yard wearing these sandals. I immediately asked where she got them and proceeded to tell her that I would be purchasing the same pair. It took a while for me to find my size, but eventually I got my own pair for the bargain price of $54 pula (about $8 Cdn).
Case study 2: The Summer Dress
Found at my new favourite store Mr. Price, this pretty dress is a perfect weekend addition to my wardrobe. It's also great during the boiling summer months.
Case study three: Polka Dots
Again, a Mr. Price gem, this blue and white polka dot fake bustier is versatile enough to wear with jeans or a cute skirt. The flower belt adds a little flash of colour. For 50 pula ($8 Cdn), it's a steal.
Case study four: Flower Power
In my previous life in Canada, I thought I was too old to wear short skirts. Maun has squashed this myth because of the heat and because people simply don't care about how they look. So if I'm showing off what I think are less than adequately toned thighs, most likely, I'm the only one who's going to notice.
The skirt below is my latest purchase. I have no clue whether flowers and patterns are the rage in the real world, but I saw this skirt in a add in the paper and I decided it was the perfect summer skirt. I'm telling you, Mr. Price is amazing. It is my new favourite store and I have to stop myself from going there every day.
I plan on trying to make this a regular part of my blog. Not the shopping bit, but new and interesting tidbits I keep unearthing that make this place not just bearable, but sometimes, even enjoyable.
I've been trying to alter my perspective, look at things in a gentler, softer way instead of through my pessimistic view. And you know what? I've found a few gems. The first being shopping. I know this is going to sound shallow to many but when you are surrounded by khakis and hiking boots 24-7, it's a delight to remember that Maun has some alternative options for those of us who don't spend most of our days in the bush and work in offices.
When I moved from Canada, I brought five suitcases. I packed most of my summer wardrobe and reasoned that I wouldn't spend any money on clothes in Botswana. In seven months, some of my clothes has been ruined by dirty water, some has disappeared and a lot of it has become boring.
So it's not like I had to shop but it was worth looking around.
Surprise, surprise. Maun's got a few gems. And I've got the photos to prove it.
My new favourite place to buy shoes is Pep. A mix of dollar store meets department store, Pep has by far the best shoes and the best prices in town.
Case study one: My studded flats.
I first came across these beauties when I saw my neighbour Sarah walking through our yard wearing these sandals. I immediately asked where she got them and proceeded to tell her that I would be purchasing the same pair. It took a while for me to find my size, but eventually I got my own pair for the bargain price of $54 pula (about $8 Cdn).
Case study 2: The Summer Dress
Found at my new favourite store Mr. Price, this pretty dress is a perfect weekend addition to my wardrobe. It's also great during the boiling summer months.
Case study three: Polka Dots
Again, a Mr. Price gem, this blue and white polka dot fake bustier is versatile enough to wear with jeans or a cute skirt. The flower belt adds a little flash of colour. For 50 pula ($8 Cdn), it's a steal.
Case study four: Flower Power
In my previous life in Canada, I thought I was too old to wear short skirts. Maun has squashed this myth because of the heat and because people simply don't care about how they look. So if I'm showing off what I think are less than adequately toned thighs, most likely, I'm the only one who's going to notice.
The skirt below is my latest purchase. I have no clue whether flowers and patterns are the rage in the real world, but I saw this skirt in a add in the paper and I decided it was the perfect summer skirt. I'm telling you, Mr. Price is amazing. It is my new favourite store and I have to stop myself from going there every day.
I plan on trying to make this a regular part of my blog. Not the shopping bit, but new and interesting tidbits I keep unearthing that make this place not just bearable, but sometimes, even enjoyable.
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