leth-ar-gy

leth·ar·gy 
[leth-er-jee]
–noun,plural-gies.

the quality or state of being drowsy and dull, listless and unenergetic, or indifferent and lazy; apathetic or sluggish inactivity.

This is how I've been feeling lately. Lethargic. It's most evident in my work. I'm struggling to simply work. I'm busy. I've got tons of stuff to do which usually inspires me, but for the last week, I sit at the computer and struggle to type. I want to spend my day on Facebook, even though I don't really like Facebook. I read the same articles over and over again in the paper and my obsession with gossip blogs is through the roof. It's like I'm finding any excuse in the world not to work. And it bugs me.
 
Although it's very evident in my work, this lethargy is taking hold of other aspects of my life. I haven't opened a book in about two weeks which is so unlike me as I've usually got a few on the go at a time. I hadn't blogged in almsot a month until I forced myself to do so yesterday. I wrote my piece for a newspaper freelance gig I have back home at the last minute because I just couldn't be bothered to write. I'd rather lay in my room watching movies 24/7. It's a depressing lifestyle. Not one that I am accustomed to.
 
This has happened to me before for brief periods of time, mostly when I was working for the govermenment and well, let's face it, that's an excuse enough in itself! But what's bothering me the most is this dread I have that I don't really like what I'm doing. I used to think I didn't like working for the government, but I'm starting to believe that it is the subjet matter and not the office that made me so miserable.
 
I don't think I like communications anymore. I was trained as a journalist but never really sought out that career as I was sucked in by the money and security of the government. I thought to myself, "communications is sort of like journalism." Well, it's not, and in the end, it's quite boring.
 
I know a lot of people work jobs they don't really enjoy. It's a part of life. And with my jobs right now, it's not all about communications. It's about communities and local organizations and building up their capacities so they can better serve their communities. So many of the organizations I work for are dedicated to child welfare and empowering children and teens. I respect and admire them and truly want to do my part in helping the organizations thrive.
 
So, I need to get my head out of my ass. Seriously. Who cares if communications isn't my passion? I have passions and while they might not be part of my employment today, eventually they will be if I so desire. This is an opportunity for me to learn more about myself - my likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses.
 
During my time in Botswana, I've learned that I enjoy working with children. Back home, I loath them. No joke. But here, it's different. Children suffer through unimaginable hardship and yet do so with a smile on their face. I'm not implying that all kids are happy smilly children. They aren't. But there is something special about working with kids in need. I learn so much more from them than I could ever teach them.
 
Therefore, my homework for the rest of the week is: Attitude of Gratitude. I need to be grateful to be here, to be healthy and relatively happy and simply accept that I am not 100 % happy with my choice of career so far. I'm on my third one anyways, so I know that I can change and move on as I please.

Diamonds in the Rough

I've complained a few times on this blog about the lack of anything remotely cosmopolitan in Maun. This wouldn't be so terrible if there was some sort of distinct culture, arts scene, theater, fashion... ANYTHING to balance the bush and safari culture that eats up this village.

I've been trying to alter my perspective, look at things in a gentler, softer way instead of through my pessimistic view. And you know what? I've found a few gems. The first being shopping. I know this is going to sound shallow to many but when you are surrounded by khakis and hiking boots 24-7, it's a delight to remember that Maun has some alternative options for those of us who don't spend most of our days in the bush and work in offices.

When I moved from Canada, I brought five suitcases. I packed most of my summer wardrobe and reasoned that I wouldn't spend any money on clothes in Botswana. In seven months, some of my clothes has been ruined by dirty water, some has disappeared and a lot of it has become boring.

So it's not like I had to shop but it was worth looking around.

Surprise, surprise. Maun's got a few gems. And I've got the photos to prove it.

My new favourite place to buy shoes is Pep. A mix of dollar store meets department store, Pep has by far the best shoes and the best prices in town.

Case study one: My studded flats.

I first came across these beauties when I saw my neighbour Sarah walking through our yard wearing these sandals. I immediately asked where she got them and proceeded to tell her that I would be purchasing the same pair. It took a while for me to find my size, but eventually I got my own pair for the bargain price of $54 pula (about $8 Cdn).

Case study 2: The Summer Dress

Found at my new favourite store Mr. Price, this pretty dress is a perfect weekend addition to my wardrobe. It's also great during the boiling summer months.

Case study three: Polka Dots

Again, a Mr. Price gem, this blue and white polka dot fake bustier is versatile enough to wear with jeans or a cute skirt. The flower belt adds a little flash of colour. For 50 pula ($8 Cdn), it's a steal.






















Case study four: Flower Power

In my previous life in Canada, I thought I was too old to wear short skirts. Maun has squashed this myth because of the heat and because people simply don't care about how they look. So if I'm showing off what I think are less than adequately toned thighs, most likely, I'm the only one who's going to notice.

The skirt below is my latest purchase. I have no clue whether flowers and patterns are the rage in the real world, but I saw this skirt in a add in the paper and I decided it was the perfect summer skirt. I'm telling you, Mr. Price is amazing. It is my new favourite store and I have to stop myself from going there every day.

I plan on trying to make this a regular part of my blog. Not the shopping bit, but new and interesting tidbits I keep unearthing that make this place not just bearable, but sometimes, even enjoyable.

Viva Espana: World Cup Fever

Ok, I know it's a bit late to be writing about the World Cup, but I started this blog 6 months after I moved to Botswana and I've done some pretty cool things over the last half year. So I will be updating everyone of my shenanigans in a belated fashion.

First up: World Cup. I don't know how I would have survived June without the biggest sporting event in the world. As you may have noticed from my last post, I'm a hockey junkie. Never cared much for football, or is it soccer, I don't know anymore! But as I struggled to meet people and to build a social life for myself, football (as I've decided to call it), help ease my transition. Pretty much every night of the week, I would head out to a local pub or restaurant to watch a game. Any game. I really didn't care. Since Canada has no team, I decided to cheer for my adopted continent. I cried with the rest of the continent when Ghana came so close to moving on to the semi-finals. I felt almost as devastated as when the Sens lost in the Stanley Cup finals. Seriously.

I'd thought about going to a game but I kept wavering because of the cost, the travel expense and the lack of a buddy to go with me. Then my friend Knight called on a Thursday evening saying he had tickets for Saturday's quarter-final match between Spain and Paraguay and invited me to come along. After a few phone calls to find accommodation (thanks Andrew), I booked a flight on Friday and Saturday morning, I was off to Joburg.

IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!!!

We went straight to Nelson Mandela Square where we were greeted by the colours of the world. Spaniards, Dutch, Mexicans, Germans, Americans and a whole lot of other people proudly displayed their country colours by wrapping themselves in flags, painting their faces, donning hats. It was patriotism at its best.




Knight and I quickly decided we were cheering for Spain (my choice was based on the good looks of #14 Xabi Alonso) and proceeded to purchase some Spanish flags and draped ourselves in them.

As we were walking through the mall, we heard some cheering and clapping and turned to see team Ghana walking through the mall! Fresh off their devastating defeat the previous night, the team was given a hero's welcome as people from all over the world cheered, clapped and expressed how proud they were of their effort. It was beautiful. I almost cried.



The game was just as awesome. Knight told me we had good tickets but I didn't realize how good they were. As we walked into the stadium, we were directed to the lower level. We then started walking down the stairs, searching for row x. As we continued to walk down, I turned to Knight and asked him where exactly we were sitting. He told me to keep walking,

We stopped eight rows from the pitch. EIGHT ROWS!!!! Oh and we were sitting in about the centre of the football pitch! I could hear the players talking to each other. So amazing.Thank you Knight!

We watched the eventual World Cup champions squeeze out a victory against Paraguay. It was truly an amazing experience. One that I will never forget.

Hockey Night in Canada

This is for everyone back in Canada who are gearing up to watch NHL opening night. Montreal Canadiens vs Toronto Maple Leafs. Classic rivalry. Wish I was home for it! Go Habs Go! (tomorrow, it's Go Sens Go!!!!)

Making a difference, one letter at a time

My role in Botswana to is to build capacity in the area of communication and information management. It has been a struggle particularly at the counselling centre. The centre is short of funds, as are many NGOs, and I have been utilized to write proposals and look for sources of funding. Not necessarily my job description. Also, one of our major programs, which employs about 17 staff, ended September 30. Therefore, most staff spent the past two months wrapping up the program, writing reports and polishing their CVs in hopes of finding new employment. I've been asked to write a lot of CVs and I've helped out after hours as much as I can.

There are many days where I can't help but feel like I'm wasting my time here. I've been working at Maun Counselling Centre (MCC) for two months and I don't know if I've actually made any type of difference. The point of capacity building is that when I leave, the people in the organization should be able to continue with my work. I just don't know if that can happen here. Especially in such a short time.

When people think of communications, they usually think about websites, newsletters, pamphlets, brochures, etc. Well, at least that's what management thinks about at MCC. But when an organization is struggling to survive, the last thing it has is money to produce these types of products. Also, for many employees at the centre, English is still a new language and the capacity to write these documents has not yet been developed.

When I spoke to employees, they informed me that their communication needs were far more basic. They want to learn basic typing skills, basic English language writing, how to take minutes during a meeting, etc. This isn't what I had in mind when I first came here, but I have to adapt to my surrounding and to the needs of people.

Another struggle has been the lack of enthusiasm, or maybe it's better described as apathy, in actually learning. Sure someone tells me they want to learn how to type, but when I ask them to type a simple letter, they say no. Same thing with taking minutes. Batswana are funny people. Many of that claim to want to learn, but don't actually want to do the work to get there. This has been my biggest frustration so far.

So imagine my surprise and deep delight when I walked into the office this morning and found a coworker practicing his typing using a program I found online and added to every computer in the IT room. Not only was he practicing, but he was teaching another employee how to use the program. Still working on lesson 1, which practices using the letters "F" and "J," he excitedly told me how he only made 23 mistakes during his last test. The first time he took the test, he made 191 mistakes. He is now working on lesson 2 and his typing is improving every hour!

This is the first time in two months that I've seen someone take initiative with anything that I've attempted to teach. Typing might seem like such a small skill, but if they get comfortable with the computer, then they might start typing their reports instead of writing them by hand. This simple skill will help them today and in the future wherever they may be.

If this is the only skill people learn while I am here, I will be satisfied. We need to start small. One key, one letter, one word at a time.

Indifference or Ignorance

I work in an HIV and AIDS counselling and testing centre. While we test and counsel people at the centre, our main area of focus is education and testing in rural communities and local impoverished areas. On my first day of work, I went to a shabeen (a gathering spot where alcohol is brewed and sold) for a testing and counselling session. Field officers from work had previously scouted the location, talked to the owner (commonly known as Shabeen Queens) and held a session about the importance of knowing your status. A week later, a counsellor, outreach worker and myself showed up for the testing session. It is important to show up early in the morning before people get drunk. It's not recommended to test people while they are under the influence. Unfortunately, we arrived a  bit late (around 10 am) and most patrons were wasted already.

I've been tested regularly since I was 20-years-old. Every six months to be exact. Not because I engage in risky behaviour, but because I think it's important to know your status and to get in the habit of being tested regularly. I still get freaked out every single time I get tested. I get nervous, panicked, my skin feels clammy and I'm pretty sure all blood is drained from my face. Why? My deep fear of needles probably has something to do with it, but I grew up with the knowledge that sex today is a lot riskier than it was 30 years ago. And HIV is the biggest reason.

Maybe I'm paranoid. I know even my doctor thinks I'm crazy to get tested so often since I'm from Canada and our country's HIV incidence rate is approximately 0.02 percent. Which is why I have a difficult time comprehending how people seem so unfazed about testing here even thought the incidence rate is a staggering 17.6 percent.

I don't know if it was their drunken state, a lack of fear or ignorance, but the people at the shabeen acted like getting tested was a simply a normal part of their day. They chatted with the counsellor, got tested, received their results and no matter the result, continued drinking and talking with the rest of the patrons. One man who tested positive sat next to me and told me he already knew he was positive and that he didn't care. Slurring his words, he told me he was taking anti-retrovirals and that he was fine. He then asked me to have sex with him.

I guess it's good that he has taken his diagnosis well, has begun treatment and may well live a long and prosperous life. However, he is more likely sleeping with many women, passing the virus to them as well as to his wife, depleting his body with alcohol and reducing the effect of the antiretrovirals in the process and simply not caring much about his life or the consequences of his actions.

And that is the case for many in Botswana. HIV and AIDS is everywhere: in ad campaigns, in schools, in the workplace, on TV, at home, in the funerals held every weekend, and yet, people don't seem to take it very seriously. This isn't just a one-off observation, it's something I see on a daily basis through my work. I don't know how to get people to care. It's not my job either but it's something I'm having a hard time siting down and accepting.

It's a man's world

I've been in Botswana for six months now. I've had my fair share of ups and downs. I've helped organize a major event that attracted international press, I've been up close and personal with lions, leopards and wild dogs in the beautiful bush of Botswana, and I've made some really great friends. I've also done four courses of antibiotics for various ailments, been sick more times than I thought humanly possible and continue to struggle with the HIV and AIDS epidemic and the seemingly blazé attitude of many about this virus and disease, and why exactly it keeps spreading like wildfires in Botswana.

But my biggest struggle has been the gender gap and how this paternalistic society has not only contributed to a complete lack of women's rights, but also to the rapid spread of HIV.

While polygamy is not widely practiced, it is not uncommon, actually it's far too common, for a man to have a wife and numerous mistresses. A friend  recently revealed how she found her boyfriend in HER bed with another woman. He told her to spend the night on the couch while he continued with his mistress.  She did. And he is still her boyfriend today. I was outraged when I heard this story. Sure, I've taken crap from guys before. Most women have, but I would never allow myself to be disrespected in such a way. I wondered why this successful, beautiful and seemingly level-headed woman would accept such behaviour?

A conversation with my friend Sharon revealed why many intelligent women accept this behaviour and why equal rights is far from being a reality in Botswana. Sharon indicated that many women are raised to accept this kind of behaviour. Young girls learn from their mothers that they are second-class citizens; that men will drink away their food budget, force them to have sex and beat them if they don't comply and that in all likelihood, their partners will stray. Their mothers have suffered the same fate and don't believe their daughters will find anything better. When daughters talk to their mothers about cheating boyfriends or husbands, the mothers will often tell their daughters to let it go and stay because "they will never find a man that won't cheat." Also, since women are raised in a society where the man will provide for you, it is a trade off to accept that he strays.

One wonders why any woman would accept being a mistress. How can we promote cheating and do this to our fellow women? Well, mistresses get gifts, money, groceries, etc. Men provide for a girl's family and oftentimes are that family's main source of income. It's one step above prostitution which some women are also pushed into by their families to make a quick buck.

It's easy to see why the HIV incidence rate is on the rise again. 

So what's a Batswana woman do to? Educated women still make 30 percent less than men while doing the exact same job. It is still legal for a husband to rape his wife. And worst of all, mothers are still teaching their daughters that they cannot survive, cannot have a good life without a man, despite how badly he might treat her and even thought his behaviour might kill her.

Scenes from Maun

A typical Maun home

Children at Motse wa Tsholofelo daycare, a centre for children affected by HIV and AIDS

A sad sight: Donkeys tied together

Boro River on a lazy Saturday afternoon

Backpackers: My favourite place to hang out

Hilary's Cafe: Best bread in town! My place of refuge on a bad day.

There's nothing quite like an African sunset.

The Maun Film Society

I grew up in Ottawa, went to school there and eventually began a career in the city I have forever called home. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that although I have spent most of my life in Ottawa, I'm not a real fan of the city. I think it's small and doesn't have enough life.

Well that was the case until I moved to Maun.

Living in Maun makes me appreciate the little things that Ottawa has to offer like paved roads, coffee shops and restaurants open past 4 p.m. and movie theaters. Back home, my best friend Roxanne and I created what we call "the movie gang." Basically, as the title suggests, we are a gang of people that goes to the movies a lot. We are the ones who wait in line for two hours on opening night of pretty much any major movie. Throughout the years, Rox and I have invited new members and kicked most of the them out (that's right, were talking to you Ding Dong!). In the end, Rox, Rod-Todd and I were the core crew and I gladly spent most of my Tuesday or Saturday nights checking out movies with them.

So all this to say, that I miss not only them, but movies. Luckily for me, Blair and Jude have come to the rescue. Through some clever tactics, they are now the proud owners of a projector. They then purchased a large roll of white clothe, hooked it up to two long wooden polls to create a large screen and one night we sat down to watch our first big screen movie in Maun.

Our society has since grown and we now hold movie nights twice a month. We try to vary the type of movie we play. We cater to children sometimes while other nights are adult-only for films like Inglorious Basterds. We charge 10 pula per person (less than a dollar) and all proceeds go the the Maun Animal Welfare Society. Our biggest turnout so far was when 30 people filled our yard with picnic chairs, blankets and mattresses for a viewing of Avatar. I had already seen it as I was in Canada when it first came out, but for Maun residents, this was their first glimpse of the Oscar-winning film.

Maun is not and will never be a cosmopolitan and exciting town, but the Maun Film Society provides a little comfort of home and reminds me never to forget my movie gang.

The beginnings of a miserable life...

Today, a goat gave birth on the road in front of our offices. Fellow Canadian volunteer, Kyle, and I excitedly ran out to take photos and videos while the locals laughed at us. I guess random goat births on the side of the road are just part of the daily routine for long-time residents of Maun. Here is a video of the two little ones standing up for the first time. Too cute!

Looking Good

Whoever said Canadian mosquitoes were bad, never met the evil Botswana mosquito. This is how my legs, arms and sometimes even my face look like when the bugs attack. Which by the way, is far too often.

Maun's Top Ten

Maun is a village located in Northern Botswana, at the edge of the Okavango Delta. It is a strange mixture of safari companies, NGOs and expats. Although 80,000 people live in this area, there are only two tar roads and no traffic lights. Here are a few things to know about Maun:

1.       All bars close at 11 (This is a fairly new law in Botswana as an attempt to reduce drinking. Hasn’t worked, particularly in Maun. People just start drinking earlier).

2.       There are more stray dogs, donkeys and goats in this town than there are people.

3.       All white people wear khaki-coloured cargo pants and khaki shirts. On one of my first days of work at the Maun Counselling Centre, I wore a purple dress and my coworkers looked at me in disbelief. “Why aren’t you wearing khaki?” they asked. “I don’t own anything khaki,” I replied. “You lie!” they exclaimed.  It took me a few minutes to convince them that I truly did not own anything cargo or khaki-related, but that purple dress broke the ice and helped me forge relationships with the women I work with. A purple dress. That’s all it took. A note to all my Caucasian friends: when and if you visit, bring some cargos and some khakis but don’t forget to add a little colour. This little gesture will go a long way in getting to know locals.

4.       Nando’s fast food is considered a fine meal.

5.       Maun is set to experience its first flood in 34 years. The water is rising

6.       No one actually has HIV or AIDS. Could’ve fooled me. Although this disease has ravaged the country, people still refuse to talk about it within their communities and with their peers. Sure there are plenty of ads, billboards, literature, etc about the HIV statistics in Botswana, however, no one will talk about it. It is still a huge stigma to be infected with HIV and when people die from this disease, no one will ever acknowledge it. Everyone here dies of pneumonia, tuberculosis or the “black magic”, never of AIDS.

7.       Termite mounds are considered landmarks.

8.       When people talk about malls, they mean a grouping of shops next to each other, kind of like our version of outlet malls, but smaller, dirtier and all run by Asians.

9.       It’s GNAW-kia, not NO-key-A

10.   Although it has a lot of flaws, Maun is growing on me. Especially the outskirts of Maun where the lions, leopards, wild dogs and elephants roam. I’ve been fortunate to spend a few weekends in the bush and it is spectacular!

In the land of stray dogs, donkeys and goats

First flight=cancelled. Replacement flight=delayed. Next flight=delayed. Following flight=delayed…a lot...as in 24 hours sitting in London. Thank god for sneaking into the British Airways lounge! Next flight= missed because of prior delays. Subsequent flight=cancelled. And finally after two days, five airports, four flights, lost luggage, found luggage and a bad case of jetlag, I arrived in Botswana, ready to begin my new adventure. 

I am in Botswana as a volunteer with the Uniterra program, a joint initiative between World University Services Canada and the Centre for International Studies and Cooperation. The goal of this initiative is to work in partnership with local organizations to build their capacity in various fields. In Botswana, Uniterra partners with organizations working in the HIV and AIDS sector, as the disease has reached pandemic level in this country. 

The national HIV rate in Botswana is 17.6%, the second highest in the world, behind neighbouring Swaziland. Women have been the most affected by the disease with an infection rate of 50% for women aged 30-34. It is a terrifying statistic, especially as I will soon be entering this age bracket. It is nearly impossible to find someone who hasn’t been affected by HIV and AIDS in this country. Either you know someone who is infected or has lost a parent, friend or relative to the disease or your work is directly or indirectly related to HIV. 

Over the next two years, I will work as a Communication Advisor for four NGOs, each somehow doing their part to ease the burden of HIV in Botswana. The Botswana Predator Conservation Trust is a wildlife conservation organization which runs a social development program which uses soccer skills and drills to teach children about the importance of protecting their environment. In order for kids to care about the future of wildlife and their habitat, they have to care about their own future, one which hopefully is HIV-free. 

Maun Counselling Centre is an HIV testing and counselling centre which also provides services such as pre- and post-tests, clubs, advocacy for orphans and vulnerable children and mobilizes the community in the areas of equality between women and men, being faithful to one partner and grief and bereavement. It also runs a daycare centre for children aged 2 to 6 who have been affected by HIV. 

The Ngamiland Council of NGOs helps build the capacity for all member organizations and lobbies government on their behalf. The Kuru Development Trust is the first NGO in Botswana that is devoted to a strategy of affirmative action towards the San, otherwise known as the Bushmen. 

I am beginning a series of firsts in my life: First time that I have worked for four organizations at once. First time I have lived in a village and not in a large city. First time working in the HIV and AIDS sector. I am excited but nervous at the same time. And first foray into the blog world. Wish me luck!!!